…a friend’s recent message jump started my mind into thinking things. I felt very proud of what they’re currently achieving and what they have achieved so far. And honestly, a little envious. I used to think jealously was the worst feeling, more so because of my pride, inferiority + pride mixes as well as oil and water for me. But over many years, I have learned that (and read somewhere, but this was after I had resolved this issue) feelings of inferiority, where my jealously stems from, sometimes can be solved at its root and sometimes…you just have to let the feeling pass over you. Don’t shame it, don’t reprimanded it, don’t shame yourself, just let it go. By letting it taking its own route out, it leaves on its own. Now, if you do something, let’s say questionable or hurtful while it’s on its way out, then by all means take care of that (please). Personally, I can be too introverted to reflect emotions that have negative opinions. So if you’re similar in that way, just let the feeling pass. Ah, back to the topic. I felt envious because, well she’s probably doing what it is that I want to do but have yet to gathered enough courage to pursue thoughtfully and seriously.
I remember there was a time when I felt bad, wondering if I had kept better communication with that friend, that I might been able to help them more. However, I had to realize and accept that we all enter people lives for some reason and sometimes, we just need to be there for a certain part of it and that’s okay. And the same goes for myself, sometimes certain people are just supposed to swoop into my life, whether through direct contact or nearby contact, for my own character building. So, I no longer feel bad-well the correct term would be “guilty.” However…I do need to work on keeping better communication with people though….. ._.