What if I can’t make the beautiful creations in my head come to life in this reality? What if I never can? What if I fail by those standard?. Not a lack of motivation, but…the fear of doing something that I’ve never tried before…the fear that something I care so intensely about might not work out regardless of how much love I have…the fear…that I might truly…not be able to do it…
And yet I can’t give up. I can’t loosen my grip, I can’t uncurl my fingers. Trust me, I’ve tried and tried, but I can’t move backwards, but my feet are hesitating moving forward.
Right. I didn’t come this far to simply come this far. Honestly, didn’t expect to make this far…or for it to last this long…and yet hear* I am………………..
I guess…even if it scares the mess out of me…
….I just have to do what I love right now….
….Because I honestly cannot think of anything else I can do
“Nothing else….that I’m good at”
*initially a typo, but a typo that works well so now it’s purposeful