H o n e s t l y . . .

Honestly

Honestly

Honestly

Honestly

Honestly

honestly, 

I’m

scared.

What if I can’t make the beautiful creations in my head come to life in this reality? What if I never can? What if I fail by those standard?. Not a lack of motivation, but…the fear of doing something that I’ve never tried before…the fear that something I care so intensely about might not work out regardless of how much love I have…the fear…that I might truly…not be able to do it…

sigh

And yet I can’t give up. I can’t loosen my grip, I can’t uncurl my fingers. Trust me, I’ve tried and tried, but I can’t move backwards, but my feet are hesitating moving forward.

But

But

BUT

Right. I didn’t come this far to simply come this far. Honestly, didn’t expect to make this far…or for it to last this long…and yet hear* I am………………..

I guess…even if it scares the mess out of me…

….I just have to do what I love right now….

….Because I honestly cannot think of anything else I can do

“Nothing else….that I’m good at”

 

 

 

*initially a typo, but a typo that works well so now it’s purposeful

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